Single, So Long!
To those who know me I’ve been single a long time! I identify with Singles. Single moms, single ladies, and so on. Now that I’m engaged I’m having to embrace the fact that I won’t be doing things as a single woman any more.
The cool thing about being single is when you accomplish something like finishing college, buying a home, a new car, or raising a child on your own that is inspiring, motivational, and downright noteworthy! Being married I will have to share my glory. When I accomplish something now it will be, “That’s great for the two of you.” “Behind every good woman is great man”, Etc. Right? I know this sounds petty, but follow me here.
I lived in the foggy city of Marital-tropolis for 6 years. Most of the time I lived there I was miserable. I longed for Singles Island. The Island where every drink had an umbrella in it and a guy with an oiled up muscular body serving the drinks! Palm trees and yacht parties every day of the week. No matter how much you ate, you didn’t gain a pound. (sssshh it’s a mystical place)
Marital-tropolis, a place where parties and sex are reserved for holidays. The only bodies with oil were those of newborn babies. Smog and foggy days are what this place is known for. Most of the focus is on the wedding, engagements, bachelor and bridal parties, but not much celebration of the day to day work that goes into a successful marriage. For me, once I made my escape I vowed to never go back. But here I am. Headed back there. How do I pack the sunshine and keep the sounds of the ocean with me when I go back?
I find myself terrified some days when I think of it. How can I not take advantage of being loved by such an awesome man though? Many women and praying and wishing for a mate and I have one. I said yes, and I plan to say I do. In the meantime, I have to change the way I view marriage. Marriage can be sunny with the right mate. Life can be a party with someone to share it with. Let’s not forget purpose. I believe in pursuing purpose, how fulfilling is life when you have someone with a similar purpose to walk it out with? I have admitted I have commitment phobias, trust issues, and even fears of not being compatible. However, I also fear losing the love I have been given. Missing out on the greatest opportunity and adventure of my life is not my idea of a life well lived.
When I think of Marital-tropolis now, I envision a place where you know someone has your back. There’s always at least one person in your corner. You are missed when you don’t make it home on time, or have to travel for work. When your day has been rough at work, you have a listening ear. When you lose someone you love, you have someone to cherish the memories with. You have a constant prayer partner. When the world is falling down around you, you have someone to steady you, grab your hand and heart and hold it tight. When you want to go do something fun, you have a companion to do it with. Life isn’t a lonely one lane road where you are always having to find a party to be around someone with like interests. Your mate and you can make an instant party, bring your own umbrellas for the drinks!
Yes I’ve been single, sooo long. But now it’s time to say.. So Long, Single! Adios
*I’m thankful for my friends who understand it’s a big transition from being single for 15 years to being married. I will keep you updated as I journey forward to the altar. I welcome advice from those who have already made the transition.*
ChangeAgentRose 